Showing posts with label I'm a Pastafarian (series). Show all posts
Showing posts with label I'm a Pastafarian (series). Show all posts

Thursday, January 19, 2012

I'm a Pastafarian: Professor v Student



Ugh... These Facebook posts about atheist professors v. christian student is getting tiring. Really, I have to say that is just spreading ignorance. I feel disgusted because it discredits science, and more importantly, hundreds of years of scientific discoveries in the field of biology. Maybe it became a little bit personal because it directly attacks my field of science -- genetics and evolutionary biology.

This is my version on how the conversation would have gone if the professor is a real intellectually informed professor.

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Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son ?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, you believe in god ?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Professor : Is god good ?

Student : Sure.

Professor: Is god all powerful ?

Student : Yes.

Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to god to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But god didn’t. How is this god good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent.)

Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is god good?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Is satan good ?

Student : No

Professor: Where does satan come from ?

Student : From … god …

Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And god did make everything. Correct?

Student :Yes

Professor: So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer.)

Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, who created them ?

(Student had no answer.)

Professor: Science says you have 5 senses (or as many as up to 20+ according to some scientists, or just 6 if you want to include common sense) you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen god?

Student : No, sir.

Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your god?

Student : No , sir.

Professor: Have you ever felt your god, tasted your god, smell your god? Have you ever had any sensory perception of god for that matter/

Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.

Professor: Even with current scientific advancements we could not detect god with our scientific instruments. Yet you still believe in god?

Student : Yes.

Professor : According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your god doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.

Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Professor: Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as cold?

Professor: Yes.

Student : No, sir. There isn’t.

(The lecture theatre became very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)

Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?

Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?

Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man ?

Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

 Professor: Flawed? Can you explain how is that even related?

Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good god and a bad god. You are viewing the concept of god as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. (actually, neuroscience is just beginning to unravel the mystery of consciousness, it doesn't mean we cannot explain it in the future, just like how we wasn't able to explain lightning in the past but we can now.) It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one (this is just plain ignorant, the science of electromagnetism flourished during the late 19th century when experimentalists such as Tesla, Ampere, Fleming, Maxwell, Edison, etc. began to reveal the science behind it. Modern advancements in quantum physics gave further insight into electromagnetism, so much so that without at least a decade or more of studying in the field you wouldn't be able to fully understand it because there are just so much discoveries made in the past few decades .) To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it.

Professor: Alright, I'll grant you that. So?

Student: Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, we did evolve from the same ancestor as monkey, but not from a monkey. You see, this is a flaw in your part, with a little bit of reading you would have found out that not a single evolutionary biologist in the world  claimed that we evolved from monkey, we just happen to share the same common ancestor.

Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

Professor: As a matter of fact, yes. Evolution is the reason why so many pathogenic viruses and bacterias cannot be fully killed. Tiny variations among the micro-organisms allow some of them to survive the onslaught of anti-biotics and our body immune system and then reproduce by billions. That is the reason why in a few decades almost ALL of our medical antibiotics will be useless against bacterias if we do not discover new antibiotics soon. That is the reason why HIV is still running rampant in the human population, because the virus mutates and evolves so fast we cannot pin down an effective vaccine. But let's not dwell on something so small, but take a look at a more relatable example. Say for example a group of male lions are competing for lionesses, the strongest one wins out and gets to reproduce with the female. Because the male lion is strong, the offspring inherits some of its characteristics -- bigger paws, larger body mass, faster sprint speed, etc. This gives the offspring natural advantage over other lions and allows them to be able to produce more offspring. Slowly, they start to replace the whole population, and the population fully "evolves" when every lion in the population has the same advantageous characteristics. These are small changes, but given enough time, small changes accumulates into a huge change, but that would take thousands and sometimes millions of years. Humans do not have lifespan long enough to witness any major changes, that is why no major evolution has ever been observed, but microevolution happens everyday and scientists are very well aware of it.

[Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?] (See above)

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

Professor: With biology, science predicts that every normal functioning human has a functional brain. We may not have seen mine or yours, but so far the prediction holds true under all circumstances. With this in mind, I can be pretty sure that if I crack open my skull, we will find a brain inside. But we do not have to do that to see if you or I have a brain, scientific advancements gave us equipments that can observe a brain without any invasive technology. Instruments like CT scan and MRI allows us to see our brain activity. So yes, I have a brain, and you do to. But can we say the same about god?

Student : (silence)


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p.s. The student wasn't Einstein. Einstein believed in a non-personal god, a non-judeochristian god that is not interested in the affairs of humans. He wouldn't be so motivated to prove the existence of god, and he certainly wouldn't be so ignorant and have weak arguments. Please do research before posting these kind of stuff and spreading ignorance. 'Nuff said.



Till next time, cheers~

Friday, December 2, 2011

I'm a Pastafarian: Why I Reject

Oh hai there. If you have been reading my blog, you would have noticed that not too long ago I posted a weird post about Flying Spaghetti Monster. Just for your information, that wasn't real, and I wasn't high on drugs or something either. It was just a satirical post about religion.

You see, I am not a big fan of religion, I never really needed one in my life. Somehow, not a religion in the world seems to fit the reality of the natural world. None. And you know what? On the contrary to what the Moral Ed. textbooks in primary and secondary school says, I have been able to live a moral and meaningful life without a religion. Remember the first value in the "hafal nilai" list? That's the only value I never ever observed in my life.


I am a very inquisitive person, I like to question things. When something happens I want to know the why's and the how's. I think it really didn't surprise me when I've decided way back in primary school that I want to be a scientist when I grow up (with a few temporary deviations, but scientist was never off the list).

Science is a way to look at the world. It is a lens through which we seek to know more about this universe. And it is built on observation, evidence, and reason. And as far as I see, science is not compatible with religion.

Because science is evidence-based, most if not all of the things proposed by religion crumbles immediately under scientific scrutiny.There is no conclusive evidence for the existence of god(s), soul, heaven, hell, karma, unicorns, dragons, Zeus, Thor, monkey king, etc., hence the default position in science is to treat them as nonexistent unless proven otherwise.


But I'm a Christian and I believe in Jesus and that God exists!



On what? Faith? You see, the problem with the faith is that... it is simply believing without the need of evidence.

If one day I come to you and say," Hey, an asteroid is going to hit the earth next week."
You would say," What? No that is not true. It wasn't on the news at all"
Me:" Why? Don't you believe me?"
You:" Yeah right. Should me the evidence and I will believe you."

I am pretty sure that is the logical way the conversation will go. But if faith is applied, this might be how the conversation will go:

Me:" Hey, an asteroid is going to hit the earth next week."
You:" Really? Holy shit I better start preparing for apocalypse right now."
Me:" Uh... Really? You are going to believe me, just like that?"
You:" Of course, you are my friend. I have faith in you. And you sounded convincing enough."

Did that conversation make sense to you? It certainly made less sense than the first one. But somehow people think it makes sense when applied to believe a certain deity.


I don't know... I'm pretty sure I can on onto a rant fest in this post if I wanted to. But I will try not to.


So one last thing I have to say today. Every time I see people saying "God is great" or "God is beautiful" and things like that, I feel like grabbing hold of their neck and yell at them. That is just blind ignorance of the reality of the world, and personally I find those sentences offensive and full of self-arrogance.

Millions of people are dying of famine each year. What has god done about that, if he/she/it is as great as the follower claims to be? Are you meaning to say that you deserved God's blessing more than other millions of others in pain?

God acts in mysterious ways. We cannot know what is God's plan.

I say... HYPOCRITE! When good things happen to believers, they say god is blessing them, and they seem to be so sure that god wants goodness for them. And then when bad things happen other people, they say god is giving them a challenge to make them better person. What if a baby dies of hunger the first week he/she was born? Or if something bad happens that they cannot phrase it to make it sound like God is good? Nobody knows God's plan.

So do you or do you not know what is god thinking?! Why are you so sure sometimes but other times you don't want to speculate?


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Personally, the way I see the world, god is no where in the picture. And you know what? All the sudden everything makes sense. And surprisingly, everything is so much more beautiful. Why? I will stop here and pick up from there in my next I'm a Pastafarian post.

I am going to leave you with a quote from Epicurus, an ancient Greek philosopher. A food for thought.


Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able?
Then he is not omnipotent (all-powerful).
Is he able, but not willing?
Then he is malevolent (evil).
Is he both able and willing?
Then whence cometh evil? (Why is there evil?)
Is he neither able nor willing?
Then why call him God?

Comments? Arguments? Leave them below.



Till next time, cheers~

Saturday, November 5, 2011

I'm a Pastafarian

I have a confession to make... I am a Pastafarian.

"What's a Pastafarian? Does that mean you like to eat pasta?"

No. But I do like to eat pasta though.

Anyway, let me tell you a story...



One day, I was alone at my house. It was late noon and I got very hungry. So I decided to risk food poisoning myself by trying to cook myself a meal of pasta! (I have poor cooking skills, don't laugh) I took out a handful of spaghetti and popped it into a pot of boiling water with some seasoning and salt. Then I waited, and accidentally fell asleep on the kitchen table.

Something woke me up. Soft, long, thin and squishy, wetting my face as it slowly glided across my face. I looked up and there it was, a monstrosity so weird I almost thought it was a dream. It was a huge ball of interweaving spaghetti, curling around two meatballs as large as my head. Floating in the air, its spaghetti ends probed the surrounding like a tentacle. And it had eyes! Two protruding eyes stuck on its top side, in an almost crab-like fashion.

How it looked like

"Bow upon your maker," a voice rang in my head. There wasn't anything to be found in the surrounding that could have made that voice. The spaghetti monster looked at me with intend. It squinted, and the voice rang again, "I am your maker. Bow to me, and I shall grant you a place among the blessed."

So I did. I didn't know what else to do (perhaps I couldn't have ignored its command and eat it? I was hungry.). And then it disappeared with a flash.

Maybe I was blinded for the moment, maybe the flash knocked me out. But I found myself  waking up again. Was it a dream? But it felt so real! Then I remembered the spaghetti I was boiling. When I looked at the pot, it was.... it was gone!

No way... Where did it go? There wasn't anyone else in the house, nobody else could have eaten it. Then it dawned on me that the spaghetti was the same spaghetti monster that I've encountered earlier! That's it, right? How else can you explain the disappearance of the spaghetti?

That day, I did a research on the internet and I found out that there were many people with the same experiences. They've all met the maker. Our maker. And they have a name for it - The Flying Spaghetti Monster. That's it. It's real! The spaghetti monster is real! I mean, millions of people have been touched by His noodly appendage, how can you explain such a coincidence? There is no way all of us hallucinated and had the same exact experience (boiling spaghetti, flying spaghetti monster appeared, disappearance of the spaghetti). Science couldn't explain this. This had to be a divine experience!

And so I believed. Although many other people were skeptical. But it doesn't matter. I have faith, you see. And that is all I need to believe in our maker the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I have experienced his noodly grace. Maybe if you try cooking spaghetti with a room in your heart to accept Him, you will be able to meet Him too. (And why am I so sure it was a "He"? Because it has two large meatballs you see, and we know He created man using Himself as a reference.)

To all atheists who questioned my faith, I do not blame you. I know my maker created you so that you can test my faith in Him, so that my faith can grow stronger everyday. I thank you, but at the same time I sympathize you for being so blind. He is everywhere, people in the world has been eating His gift to mankind, the spaghetti, for hundreds of years. Surely this is a sign that He exists! Not? Argue all you want, you are not going to convince me. I have experienced His noodly grace, and that is enough for me to believe in His existence. My only hope is that He is forgiving enough not to send you to the Land of Macaroni, where the Grounded Angel of Macaroni lives. There they will feed you macaroni everyday, thinking of it gives me the shivers. Sometimes I can't help but to cry when I think of the poor souls who couldn't experience His noodly grace and were sent to Land of Macaroni.

But such is live, right? You win some you lose some. Although sometimes I still do not understand why doesn't our maker just appear when everyone is cooking spaghetti and convince them. He wanted people to acknowledge Him as our maker but He is just so shy. I guess He has His big plan that I do not understand. Who does, right? He is made of spaghetti flour, I am just made out of... of dusts in the ground ( Pastagenesis 9.1 ). Surely dusts could not understand flour, right?

That is all I have to say today. I hope the fact that I am coming out as a Pastafarian will not get me into trouble. Our numbers are still small for now, but remember all religions started small. If we could persevere, we would eventually be able to bring His noodly grace to everyone in the world, just like other religions did for their god (although I am not convinced of their god, because I know mine is the real one. And the truth will always prevail!)

Onwards, Pastafarians. Let's bring His noodly grace to everyone on earth. Let His noodly appendage touch the heart of billions, and create an ultimate paradise for us his creations to live in. Long live Flying Spaghetti Monster! R'amen.



Till next time, cheers.