Till I'm 30

S'up guys. It's been quite an eventful portion of the month, so much so that I do not have the time to sit down and write.

So Steve Jobs died a few weeks ago. It caused a massive reaction from people all over the world. And then some drama, and then more drama. I didn't really feel anything when I heard the news. I mean, should I even? I was never a Macintosh computer or laptop user, I never owned an iPod, or iPhone, or iPad (my family does now, however. It's now my 3-year-old brother's toy). Nor did I ever wanted one... Err... Save maybe when iPod was still the "In" thing, at that time I really wanted one, but it didn't happen. In short, Jobs never meant anything to me, nor will he ever now that he is dead. A post started circulating on Facebook about one week after his death, it was an artcle talking about how Jobs wasn't even close to being a "great", and then he was compared to Jonas Salk, the scientist who invented Polio vaccine and decided not to patent it so that everyone can take the vaccine for free. Salk, now that's a person who deserve more recognition and respect. Salk has been one of my personal heroes for a long time, but more of him next time in my blog.


Anyway, this morning I woke up and all the sudden I realized that the next ten years of my life has already been laid out in front of me, I just have to make sure I do everything perfectly. It was such a revelation. The night before I was checking out this movement in Malaysia called "Teach For Malaysia", and decided I really wanted to join the program. This movement, by no means, is news to me. I have known it for almost half a year now. But it didn't really appeal to me earlier as I didn't want to commit 2 years into teaching in a school I might not like. Besides, a "teacher" doesn't have much prestige to it, I thought. But really, if there were no teachers, where would we be today?

Actually, I like to teach, I guess it's one of those odd characteristics of being a scientist. I just can't stop sharing knowledge (although most of the time I realize people just don't care, so I keep it to myself). So I thought I will give it a shot, after I graduate from university of course. For now it seems like I will only be able to join the teaching program in 2015, given that I graduate from university in May of 2014.

In 2017 I will presumably have ended the Teach For Malaysia program. I think that is when I will give US another visit, this time to grab a PhD. That would probably take me another 4-5 years. And then hopefully by the time I am 30 in 2022, I will finally become a researcher in genetics.

That is a long time ahead. But I can already feel it. Feel what? I don't know. Just feel it lo. Where does money come in all of these? I am not sure. I have never been really crazy over money (though having extra will not harm, of course.). Earning loads of gold just isn't my thing, as long as it keeps my life going the way I want it to.

Sometimes I ask myself, how much money do I really want to earn in my life? Well, for now I am just thinking of having enough to raise a family and to pay for children's education through college with ease. I said "with ease" because one thing I think my parents haven't got it right was to be able to give each of my siblings the freedom to learn whatever we want, in anywhere we want, due to financial constraints. But then again, I am not blaming them, nor am I complaining. This was their plan. But I am definitely going to make sure my kids get to study without worrying about not having enough money for college fees. Then again, people change right? So maybe my personal values might change by that time and I will be viewing money in a different way. Who knows?

So, again. That is a long time away. But isn't it good to have plans sometimes? Just so that you know something is wrong when it is not going to according to your plan? Without a plan, you wouldn't know what is wrong with your life, you wouldn't even know what you really want. Right? Right. Thank you for agreeing with me.



Phew... This week. I can take my foot off the accelerator pedal for a bit, and have some rest and play some music. In America you don't get as much holidays as in Malaysia. In fact for the whole semester we are just going to have 3 holidays. The first was labor day way back in September, the next is Thanksgiving weekend in November where we have Thursday and Friday off.

But anyway, hopefully I get to write and blog more.



Till next time, cheers~

Life in America: The Bell Curve

The bell curve, also commonly known as normal distribution, is one of the more unfamiliar concepts that I've encountered when I first came to UW-Madison. So what is a bell curve, and what is it used for?

The bell curve (or normal distribution) has a wide variety of applications; in my case, it is used by my professors to grade us in our courses. How does it work? Well, essentially that means that there is no absolute score for a grade, i.e. no "pass score" or "A score", and the grade you get depends on how well you do in relative to other students taking the same class. So even if you get 95% for your whole course, if everyone else gets 100% you still will not be able to get an A (or you might even fail if 95% is the lowest score in the class).

I am taking 4 courses this semester, which are Academic Writing, Cultural Anthropology and Human Diversity, Physics 2, and General Genetics. Out of the 4 classes, only academic writing has absolute score for grades, which means there is a grading guideline that is not dependent on how other students do in the class. Professors in Physics 2 and Genetics uses the bell curve; while it wasn't mentioned explicitly in Cultural Anthropology, although I suspect the bell curve will be used too.

Ohh, if you do not know how does a bell curve looks like, here are a couple of examples:

Bell curve of IQ

Score distribution for my Genetics class

So you can see from the second picture that is the score distribution of my genetics class after 4 weekly quizzes over the last month, totalling up to 100 points after 4 quizzes. Notice the score distribution resembles the shape of the IQ distribution (a real bell curve) above. So what did I mean when I said the professors grade using a bell curve? It means the professor gets to decide at which score is the cut-off point for grades A, AB, B, and so on. Like for example in my class, the current cut-off point for A is at 79, so anyone who gets more than 79 will receive an A. However now is only one month into the semester, so no real grades will be awarded, it just serves as a guideline for us to see how well we are doing compared to others.

I noticed that there are differences in classes that uses a bell curve and classes that does not. One noticable thing is that people are more reluctant to discuss and help you out with your work, because you might become better than them and cause them to receive a lower grade. So there is a competition in the classroom and it feels real to me because I paid expensive tuition fee, so it's really high stake. I think long term exposure to this system may cause someone to be slightly more individualistic, although that itself is not a bad thing unless you put it into certain context such as in environment where cooperation is essential.

Another thing it does to you is that you feel like you just have to do better than everyone else to get a good grade. Not a bad thing if you have many good students in your class, but if you get a class that on average have less competition, the mentality starts to seep in and you might be less motivated.

That being said however, UW-Madison is a top flight school (bias alert: of course ma, because I am studying here), so I guess there is no problem getting a competitive class. Sometimes I tell myself not to take a break because people will overtake me. So in that sense the usage of bell curve becomes a good motivator; it is also a very annoying though when you find yourself stuck with a homework problem you cannot solve.



So as you can see, I got my score for genetics class, just today. I am quite happy with my results. Do you want to know where I lie in on curve?

I got a 89. And I was surprised with the score distribution graph when I saw it, I was expecting someone to be getting 90+, because in the first two quizzes I wasn't even on top 10%. I am not bragging or anything, just thought that by showing you where I am on the curve, it can give you an idea of what is the level of competition here in UW-Madison, known for being a leading institution in biosciences. So if you are planing to study here, you can sort of predict your performance by comparing with mine.

Oh well, to celebrate this occasion (I just finished my first physics midterm exam today, another reason to celebrate ma), I bought myself a slice of chocolate cake and gave myself a break tonight, which also gave me time to blog. We all need a break sometimes kan? ; )



Till next time, cheers~

Life in America: What keeps it going

So I've lived the whole September here in Madison, Wisconsin. I am starting to get into the rhythm of the life here, though the weather is still one of the things I am not used to. The weather here is unpredictable, sometimes you get a temperature of 5 degrees celcius, sometimes about 20, sometimes the wind howls across the city. The other day I was walking from class to my dorm, a wind so strong hit me it blew me a couple of meters sideways and knocked the wind out of my lungs, that is how strong it gets.

That being said however, I still remember the first night I was in my dorm when after taking a shower I was shivering, the temperature was about 15 degrees; now, 15 degrees is nothing, my new cold thresold is something about 2 or 3 degrees C.

Anyway, in the midst of all these studies and classes and homeworks and quizzes and exams and more homeworks, one will go insane pretty quickly if there weren't anything to keep you grounded. I try to have the little things to look forward to everyday to keep me going through week after week.


First, is my bath time!

Dorm bathroom

Of course, this might not seem like anything to you. But in a climate this cold, taking a shower under the hot water is the next best after (insert favorite thing to do here). In fact, after getting in, you don't feel like you want to get out, you'll just want to stay in there forever, and ever. Of course at some point I will have to reluctantly get out of the shower into the cold again, because I didn't came all the way here just to indulge in a shower. But it's okay, because I can look forward to the next one.


Second, my 10:10 pendant.

10:10

If you've noticed, I've been wearing this since about exactly one year ago. It was to celebrate the world climate action day last year on the 10th of October. But I've been wearing that since. Whenever I feel drown under homeworks, it reminds me of the happier days in Malaysia when I was actively involved in voluntary services and environmental movement, the friends that worked side by side at that time, how we had fun together. Then I don't feel like such a mess anymore.


Third! My little kids.

Music Club 2011

I miss the people at my high school Music Club. But they are also part of why I look forward to each day. Everyday, I will wake up checking my Facebook notifications to see if there is anything going on in the club, whether they are doing fine. I am counting the days when I get to see them again, to work and play music together.


Fourth, my guitar!

Yamaha FG700S

A relatively new addition into my daily routine, it just arrived earlier this week. This guitar keeps me sane more than anything else (I think). It's just hard to live for a month without a guitar to play. Now I got one, I find myself more motivated to finish homework so that I can practice guitar. Now learning - Andy McKee's Drifting. And of course, I can't wait to get back to Malaysia to show how much I've (not) improved when I was in Madison!


Lastly! The actual learning itself.

I came here to study, so I might as well look forward to class each day. Surprisingly though, I find myself liking the classes here. Although it is definitely different from Malaysia. But the professors here are generally very happy to teach, unlike in Malaysia where being a teacher was something you don't do unless you want to be poor and grumpy everyday. I am taking one genetics course this semester - General Genetics. It is a bit difficult, but it is inspiring to be able to learn it at the epicenter of genomics revolution. If you didn't know, University of Wisconsin-Madison is one of the leading universities in bioscience research, if not the leading university. So it is great to be learning from the people who are doing the actual research themselves.


Alright, that's all for today. Oh and by the way, today is the first conference game of the football season! That means teams with huge rivalries playing each other. And our school is going against University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Both teams having 4 wins and 0 losses in the pre-season games last month. The atmosphere in downtown is just crazy, but such a pity I did not bring my camera with me. Next game I will try to take some photos and show you what it is like to be in a football town on college game day.

Wisconsin hoodie!

Till next time, cheers~